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Success Or Failure - Which Will It Be?

Any process of change that involves challenging your current behaviour is inherently uncomfortable.

It requires you to do something that you haven't done before and that is tough. It is also why it is helpful to work with someone externally as you are unlikely to be able to step out of your own thinking.

Response vs. Reaction

When tough times or temptation occurs, you can either respond to that situation or react to it.

Reaction tends to be where we currently are - I.e. you have the urge to drink, so you drink.

Forming a response requires time, patience and a bit of perspective.

When you switch your perspective from "Why is this happening to me?" and dwelling on the injustice or unfairness, to "What is this teaching me?" - EVERYTHING changes.

Think of it this way - if you got repeatedly passed over for a promotion at work, you could 'throw your toys out of the pram', start moaning at anyone who would listen and generally let everyone know how unhappy you are and how unfair it is.

When the next promotion comes round, are you in a stronger, or weaker position?


You could allow yourself a bit of time to process your disappointment, do what is ncessary to get yourself into a better mental state and then calmly ask for a meeting to discuss it. In that meeting, you could seek some answers as to what you are missing, and how you can put yourself in a strong position for the next one. you could listen to the answers, make a plan and do what is asked. next time round you are of course going to be the favourite.

Getting sober requires you to manage yourself

Quitting drinking is not easy. But nor is it the daily living nightmare that some people would have you believe.

There will be reasons why you have not been successful - yet - and pushing through those requires grit, humility and determination.

If you don't have those you are unlikely to be successful.

'Grit' can be found by getting clear on what you are striving for, and making a decision to prioritise it.

'Humility' comes from an acceptance that you don't know everything. Your ego plays lots of tricks on you:

'You should know better'

'Everyone else seems ok with this - what is wrong with you'

'Determination' builds over time. Enthusiasm is great at the start, but over time, you simply need to keep going after the initial flush has passed.

Why I give a warranty

The Freedom Programme works. IF YOU DO IT.

At the time of writing, I have had over 4,000 people go through this process, and I can count on my fingers how many people have done the programme and found it unhelpful.

Of the people who enquire about the warranty, 99% of them have not actually done the course. Some lie, some make excuses, and I get that. So, the warranty has a single condition - do the course as it is laid out (it isn't arduous) and if it doesn't work, you get a refund.

I am on your side here, and for every one person who finds this offensive, I have ten others who take me up on that challenge and then come back to me saying that - funnily enough - they are feeling differently about alcohol and want to continue. I want you to be successful, and 'holding your feet to the fire' when you want to quit is part of that.

In order to get change, you need a carrot and a stick. I have been in leadership positions across many healthcare companies and know that both have their place.

Fight or flight?

When you cut the drinking down, it can impact your sleep temporarily.

Alcohol helps you fall asleep, but it ruins the quality of your sleep. This is why heavy drinkers feel so tired all the time.

Anyone who has had kids can identify with just how debilitating sleep deprivation can feel. it gets you into a 'fight or flight' response - do you push through and reap the benefits when everything resets (which can take a couple of weeks) or do you cave in and give up?

Imagine the dilemma going on in someone's head in that moment to drink, or not to drink? The excuses would be flying round in your head.

How do you respond? Do you listen to them, or find a way to stick to your guns?

In order to do that, you have to get very clear on your 'why'. This is why the first task in the Freedom Programme is to take you through a process where you get crystal clear on what is in it for you.

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Author of Sober In Seven and wellness and sobriety coach in the UK, here to use my own experience of overcoming alcohol addiction to support you on your journey to a better healthier life.

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